How do I deal with communication problems in my marriage?
Be aware that most of the communication problems are based on misunderstanding. Express yourself clearly and do not expect him to understand you without words.
As awkward as it may sound, role playing is a good method of addressing communication problems in a marriage. Find a trusted friend to “stand-in” for your partner. With the friend in place, practice articulating marital issues,concerns, and opportunities using the “I first” language. Have the stand-in voice issues, opportunities, and concerns as well, and practice receiving this information using responses that begin with, “I hear you saying…”
“I first” approaches reduce the risk of blaming, name calling, and the like. If you or your partner uses belittling and intimidation to communicate, you have bigger problems than a temporary inability to express joy and frustration.
Talk over boundaries if any. If you need your space it is well and good that you ask for it. Never hesitate over these conversations and keep talking over things to get things right. There is no replacement for conversing so keep talking.
Write down your feelings so you can clearly articulate and understand them yourself before you approach your spouse to discuss. Try to approach your spouse when you aren’t feeling angry or upset in any way. Wait until you cool down, and then approach your spouse with the aim of reconciling, not of winning the argument.
Talking is completely different from arguing. Stop aruging and start talking about your issues. Arugments can go on forever so avoid that and talk about fixing problems and finding a solution. Solution is not to shut the other person but a concrete factual and measurable solution that will put a stop to perplexions.
Working out things when conflicts arises is what makes a good marriage. Decide about this and make sure you give the time to workout stuff that icks you both. Give feedback and compliments about the progress made. Good or bad when expressed makes a difference instead of not knowing at all. Never hesitate doing such things. Small things matter.
I am agree with you at this point…