How do you work on self-love while in a relationship without becoming distant or self-absorbed?
I worried about this a lot. Focusing on myself actually made me less reactive, but it didn’t feel comfortable at first.
I’m still figuring this out, honestly. I think self-love is more about saying no sometimes than pulling away completely.
I think self-love gets confused with doing things alone. For me it’s smaller than that. It’s just not abandoning yourself in the everyday moments. Saying what you actually feel, not agreeing to things you don’t want. That stuff usually brings you closer to your partner, not further.
The self-absorbed version is when “working on myself” becomes a reason to check out of the relationship. That’s the line, I think.