I am emotionally disconnected from my husband and feel emotionally abused by him. Should I try to stay with him because for the sake of our wedding vows and children?
We should never force ourselves into situations that don’t work. We make ourselves miserable and everyone around us and children can also sense the misery. Before leaping to any life-changing decisions though, make sure you’ve talked it through with your husband first. It’s perfectly normal to have difficult patches and even to feel disconnected at times. Of course, if he is abusing you emotionally, you need to protect yourself but first check in that this isn’t some defensive reaction from him for whatever reason.
As humans, we misunderstand each other so often and you owe it to yourself and to him to talk through what you’re experiencing and to ask him what he senses and feels. Perhaps he also feels that something is wrong but doesn’t go about it. Instead, communicate and you might surprise yourselves with what you can achieve.
This is me as a wife of 18 years, with teens. I want to make it to 20 yrs…especially for the kids sake, a 2 parent stable home…. Its a double edged sword because I don’t identify our home as “stable.” Its a financial decision for me to stay, even though he is financially abusive….
20 years ago I was the bread winner. Now the tables have turned….
Im trapped.
Kacy, thank you for trusting this community with something so personal and heavy.
Eighteen years is a long time to carry what you’re describing, and the position you’re in, where staying feels necessary but also painful, is one of the hardest places to be. The fact that you’re still thinking about stability for your kids says a lot about who you are.
We thought this might be useful depending on where you are right now:
You’re not alone here. If you ever want to share more or just need a space where someone is listening, this community is here for that.
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