My husband has cheated on me for 40 years. But recently, for the first time, he has shown a little bit of remorse and has promised to change his ways and has also promised to make me happy from now on. How do I begin to trust him?
Being cheated on is a tough betrayal to get through but it can be done with time and patience. Most importantly, you rebuild trust by supporting each other because it’s worth remembering that he’s hurting too.
The first step is to allow yourself the time you need to grieve the old relationship and to sit with the emotions that come with that. Journaling can help or talking through them together. This allows you to process the emotions and to prepare yourself for the new relationship that you will create with your husband.
The second step is to talk about the concerns that you both have with the relationship currently and what you both want to work on changing. It’s also important to highlight the positives that you both bring to the relationship and how to use those as the foundation for moving forwards. Trust then comes gradually as you both try out new behaviours and ways of communicating, including sharing your feelings, with each other.