Why do I find it difficult to communicate about even the minor things she should know about?
Two of the most common misunderstandings within couples are expecting each other to mindread and the use of the word ““should””. Psychologists know these as cognitive distortions, and they’re very easy to do because the mind likes to simplify things, and it also likes to make everything about me, myself, and I. To the mind, we are center-stage of whatever story is going on around us, but remember that your partner also has a ““me, myself, and I”” mind. So, if you can, try to avoid the word should and instead ask yourself, how can I share what I need whilst also listening to what she needs so that we meet in the middle?
In terms of finding it difficult to communicate things, there are many potential reasons. These could be anything, including, but not limited to, low self-esteem, low emotional connectivity, decades and even generations of habit passed down, and last but not least, attachment to our egos and the stories in our minds. I would highly recommend working through this exploration with a professional. In the meantime, if you want to start somewhere, look up the wheel of emotions and start connecting to the different emotions you experience. The more you can name them, the more you’ll start opening up to your experience as a human which, in turn, will make it easier to talk about it.